The toolkit · For parents
How to support your child in the exam room, counter diagnostic overshadowing, and keep her in charge of her own story. 5 moments, each with the words to say.
When speaking to a doctor on behalf of your child, the goal is to support, not replace, their voice. Keep these on your phone during appointments to stay respectful, firm, and focused on physical root causes.
Where are you in the appointment?
Thank you for meeting with us. My child has been experiencing ongoing symptoms that are significantly impacting her daily life. We're looking for a thorough investigation into possible physical causes before assuming it's psychological.
Establishing the goal of investigating physical causes from the start.
We understand anxiety can play a role in health, but these symptoms appeared before any anxiety diagnosis. We'd like to rule out underlying medical conditions rather than assuming a mental health cause first.
Pushing back against diagnostic overshadowing when mental health is assumed first.
Can we run lab work or screening for things like anemia, autoimmune markers, or nervous system disorders before moving forward with treatment?
Asking for objective laboratory or diagnostic evaluations.
I want to make sure she speaks for herself; she knows her symptoms best. Can you please direct questions to her first?
Ensuring the physician addresses your child directly as the primary source of data.
We appreciate your input. However, given the severity of her symptoms, we'd like to explore referral options to a specialist in (neurology / gastroenterology / rheumatology). Can you recommend someone?
Navigating a dead end or severe symptoms that require specialized care.
She's very emotional / dramatic / sensitive / exaggerating.
Her symptoms are real, consistent, and escalating, and we won't stop until we understand why.